behind the mastermind

so, do you realize how the internet is a lonely place. always looking for something, always searching. and then you find, but rarely stay, no, you keep on searching. you want more and more, and then some more.


i'm here and you're there. we're not together. you see? it's lonely me wanting to be there and you wanting to be here. endless circle. like a snake bitting its tail.


there certaing songs i shouldn't listen to, because they make me cry. why am i this touchy lately? why i rather read than write. searching for what i can't give? is that it? i'm afraid of the break...


i suddenly realize, that i might be starting to open up, slowly, allowing myself to feel, for once in a long time, and that's why i'm all feelings. the songs make me cry. the movies and even the tvshows. slowly, i'm leaving behind all the useless baggage i'd used to carry, it's not worth anymore.


i open my eyes in the morning and see you there, sleeping, and i know i can stay like this as long as i want. let not use forever. forever in never and never say never ;). is this the most beautiful thing in the world? to allow yourself to feel?


let's stay in lust, like this, let's make it last. let's smile on it.